Turning 25 and having a quarter-life crisis...

So I'm turning 25 this weekend...

I feel two very different ways about that.

Firstly I'm freaking out and feel old and that time is passing by rapidly, and I've no sense of what will happen in the future, and I'm still single and AGGGHH....

Then my second way of thinking is JESUS I'm turning 25 and I'm running a business, making a TV show and I'm already an award winning journalist (aka calm the fuck down Ali).

Either way I feel like this birthday is a pretty big deal. A lot has happened over the last few years, and for some reason I have always used 25 as a milestone age in my head.

When I was 17 I kept telling my parents I would make €100,000 by the time I was 25 (I have a full year to try and achieve that one).

It was around the same time I told myself I'd be with the man I was going to marry when I was 25 (I feel like that's more unrealistic than making €100,000).

I have put an immense amount of pressure on myself about achieving a certain life by the age of 25.

But I don't think I'm alone in that. I firmly believe that a new type of life crisis exists now. Everyone talks about having a mid-life crisis, but I think most people my age are having a quarter-life crisis.

Let me explain the quarter-life crisis:

1. You are still partying but you have nothing on your 18-year-old self who didn't believe in hangovers and genuinely thought Tesco vodka was the best drink out there and going home before 4am was just ridiculous

2. Everyone around you is getting engaged/married/having babies and you're still single. The worst thing about this part is when people say: 'Oh you must be a career woman then, good for you' aka you're going to end up alone (thanks guys)

3. You're eating just as much as you did when you were in your teens but now your food turns you into a bloated animal. Weight watchers, juice cleanses and counting calories is just the norm now

4. You nearly have a heart attack when you realise that amazing J1 a while back was actually 7 YEARS AGO (once again AGGGGHHHH)

J1: I lived in San Diego when I was 18

5. Suddenly pensions and savings (which seemed like an old persons thing before) are on your mind all the time and you actually start planning both

6. You feel guilty when you spend a whole day in bed thinking about life. You're nearly 25 surely you should be out getting a masters or trying to change the world

7. Despite having a job you still rely on your parents. Pocket money used to be just for teenagers but people in their 20's still need a hand now and then (celtic tiger cubs and all that)

8. You STILL have housemates... yes you thought that was just while you were in college. Now you're in your mid twenties and still don't have your own space

9. Your bedroom still looks like a teenagers bedroom... what I mean by that is I have collages all over my walls, a guitar on my bed and photo booth pictures with my friends

10. You're turning 25 and you feel like you're turning 50...

I'm not going to lie, every year my birthday is such a big deal (to me only).

I grew up being treated like a princess, where every birthday meant a big party at my house, a clown, a magic show, fireworks, a new bike, a sleepover, a dinner etc

21st: I love a big birthday bash

But at this point of your life (mid-twenties) no one really cares anymore. Now you have a small 'get  together' with the people you are close to, if they can make it.

Parties are only if you're turning 21 or 40 now. No one can make the time for fancy dinners because everyone is working or planning a wedding, needs a night in with the boyfriend or in my industry - has a better event to go to.

So every year I make my birthday a big deal and expect fireworks, a big trip away, waking up to a surprise but instead I'm normally working and the people I want to show up to my birthday never do.

Last year my birthday present to myself was a trip to Dubai for a week. I made my childhood dream come true and swam with dolphins.

Dubai: I always wanted to swim with dolphins

I went on a camel ride and watched the sun set in the desert... this year my birthday present to myself is a day off from my crazy career(s).

My plan this year was to return to Vegas. I went there when I was 18 so I couldn't drink or gamble. I wanted to go back this year with friends and do both those things... plus see Britney (obviously).

But things are different when you run a business, when you're planning a show, when you don't have a permanent job where you can take weeks off at at time anymore.

This year, as I turn 25, I'm going to look back over the year and everything I've accomplished.

My new business will be my fireworks, my week at The Oscars in February, the Cannes film festival in May can be my trips away and all the fancy parties I've been to can merge into one big celebration of reaching my quarter-life crisis.

Ali

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